


I wish I knew then what I know now

by ifzi0531



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Happy Ending, kinda angst, niall and zayn centric, zianourry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 17:01:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/851887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifzi0531/pseuds/ifzi0531
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's supposed to be 'bros over hoes', they say. But Zayn seems to forget about it when he insists to accuse Niall of lying with his girlfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I wish I knew then what I know now

**Author's Note:**

> p/s: I love Perrie. And Zayn. This is purely fiction so it's not what I think about them at all. They are all seems so sweet. :)

Zayn loves Perrie and for all Niall knows, Perrie loves Zayn too. But as the blonde-haired girl tries to grind him at Zayn’s house when Zayn is taking his time to shower, Niall feels confused. “Perrie, what are you doing?” Niall asks as he laughs nervously and tries to shove Perrie off his body. But the girl seems not to get the idea as she runs her finger towards Niall’s face and stops at his lips, leaning closer and Niall really wants to bolt and crosses his finger so that Zayn would never see the compromising position that he and Perrie are in at the moment. His prayer is answered when he hears the whistles of Zayn’s voice and Perrie leaps out from the couch, acting like nothing had happened few minutes ago and Niall feels relieves. Except that Perrie winks at his direction and mouths flirtatiously, “later, love.” 

The things happen a few times after that first encounter and Niall is always cornered by Perrie and he feels like he wants to burst out. Except that he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to hurt Zayn by telling the guy that his girlfriend is flirting with Niall and the Irish guy just shrug it off, thinking that maybe he is the one who reads the wrong signals. Maybe Perrie is just playing around with him. He hopes so. 

Except that stars are not always on his side when he is cornered again by Perrie at the back of their tour bus and the girl starts to kiss him on the lips. It takes few seconds for Niall to recover from the shock when he hears the boomed voice of Zayn. “What the hell are you guys doing?!” Zayn fumes and yanks Perrie away from Niall, glaring at both of them. 

“He tries to kiss me!” Perrie exclaims and Niall swears he never wants to punch a girl like he is feeling at the moment because what the fuck? 

“What the heck, Niall!” Zayn curses as he yanks Niall’s shirt and shoves the blonde-haired guy until his back connects with the bus’s wall. 

“I didn’t kiss her! She tried to kiss me!” Niall says desperately, trying to pry Zayn’s hand off his shirt. 

“Hey hey! Let him go!” Liam says and Niall doesn’t know when but he feels grateful when Liam’s strong arm manages to pry Zayn’s hand off his shirt. 

“What happened?” Liam asks, glancing at both of his bandmates. He was playing FIFA with Louis and Harry in the bus when they hear the commotion near the door and they decided to take a look. And that’s when they found Zayn and Niall, which Niall is pinned on his back and Zayn looks so furious. 

“He tried to kiss Perrie!” Zayn spits angrily and Liam looks at Niall. “Is that true?” He asks. 

“No!” Niall exclaims, trying to defend himself. “She was the one who cornered me.” He says but Zayn is having none of it because apparently Perrie has start crying and buries her face on Zayn’s shoulder. 

Zayn wipes away Perrie’s tears and tells her to wait for him inside the bus before turns to look at Niall again once she leaves. “You son of a bitch!” 

“Hey! Watch your mouth!” Liam scolds, trying to calm both of them down and by the looks of it, he fails to do so. 

“I swear she was the one who..” 

“Save it, Ni! Stop lying! Not that you’re just not good enough to be in the band and cannot sing shit, now you’re turning into a liar too?!” Zayn says angrily before he storms off, leaving Niall and Liam alone. 

“Niall..” Liam tries to call out his friend who is apparently too shocked to response to Zayn’s words. Liam knows Niall is a carefree guy and he doesn’t care about what people say about him. But Liam also knows it’s because they always got each other to support their backs but Zayn had crossed the line. By the looks of Niall’s face, Liam knows Zayn had poked right to Niall’s hidden insecurities. 

Niall shakes his head and rubs his hands over his face tiredly. “I’m going for a walk.” He says quietly and takes off, leaving Liam alone, hoping that both of his bandmates would make up by tomorrow and be alright again. 

 

**

 

Niall knows Liam, Louis and Harry are stressed out about the situation. Apparently, he and Zayn are still not talking and trying their best to avoid each other. Niall sighs as he stares at the ceiling of his bunk. He doesn’t like the situation also but he gotta admits that what Zayn had said stung and he couldn’t believe that Zayn chose to believe Perrie over him. Yes, he knows that Perrie is Zayn’s girlfriend but still…and talking about Perrie..

Niall glances at his phone and scrolls over all the recent messages. Almost all of the messages come from Perrie and Niall feels frustrated over the situation. He wants to tell Zayn about it but he knows Zayn would not believe him. And thinking about how Zayn, who is the closest one to him in the band doesn’t believe him, what is the chance for the others to believe him? None, in Niall’s opinion. He peeks over the curtain of his bunk when he hears giggles nearby and his eyes spots on Zayn and Perrie, kissing each other and from the looks of it, Zayn seems happy. And Niall doesn’t want to break the happiness so he does the best things that he can do. He selects all the messages from Perrie and clicks ‘delete.’ What Zayn doesn’t know won’t hurt him and as long as Niall ignores all the messages, hopefully Perrie will take the sign to leave him alone. 

 

**

 

Niall somehow knows that the press are poking on the stories about the kissing because apparently some fans had witnessed the scene and the press starts to bombard them with questions. Niall keeps his silent while Perrie keeps saying that she loves Zayn. Niall feels glad for that. At least, he knows Perrie is not lying to the press. He opens his twitter account and scrolls down the timeline and stops at one of the tweets. 

_**@zaynmalik: There are differences between talking and singing. And some people are just better keep on talking rather than singing.** _

Niall blinks his eyes and reads the line over and over again. He knows Zayn doesn’t mention anyone in the tweet but somehow, Niall knows that Zayn is talking about him. Niall swallows a big lump in his throat before he finally throws away his phone on the other side of the bed and curls into himself. 

Surprisingly, it is Louis who finds him crying alone in the hotel room a few hours later. He doesn’t remember how but suddenly Louis is leaning on the bedpost and Niall is tucked into his arms, sniffling after he cries. 

“Ni…what’s going on?” Louis asks bluntly as he tilts down to look at one of his best mates. He loves Niall like his little brother and to find him crying, that is so unlike Niall that it makes Louis’s heart breaks. He knows it’s related to Zayn because everyone is aware on how hostile Zayn is towards Niall and Louis knows the latest tweet by Zayn is meant to be read by Niall. He heard about their fight and he was mad at Zayn but when he asked Zayn about it, he just ignores Louis and the elder guy decided to ask Niall instead. 

Niall shakes his head and sniffs quietly. “You wouldn’t believe me..” He trails off. 

Louis raises his eyebrows as he looks at Niall. “Try me.” 

Niall tilts his head to glance at Louis and he can see how Louis really wants to know about the situation that they are in so Niall told him everything. From the start until the messages. “But I deleted all the messages already..” Niall finishes his story and waits for Louis’s response. 

Louis nods and hums quietly. “Hurm, I believe you.” He says and Niall shots up to sit properly as he looks at Louis. 

“Really? But..” Niall wants to say that he doesn’t have any proof anymore and Louis just smiles at him. 

“I believe your words, Niall. Plus, I have this feeling that something feels off with Perrie, but she seems to make Zayn happy so I just ignore it.” Louis explains and Niall feels his eyes mist again as Louis said that he believes Niall’s words. 

“Thank you, Lou!” Niall says as he hugs Louis again and cries happily. 

Louis pats Niall’s hair and chuckles. “Shhh..enough crying for the day, yeah? You’re not pretty when you’re crying.” Louis teases. “If Daisy sees you like this, she’ll leave you for another boyfriend and there goes my chance to be your brother-in-law.” He jokes and Niall snorts against his chest. Louis smiles when he hears Niall chuckles. Mission accomplished. 

 

**

 

The crowds's scream don't stop until they reach the twitter question segment as usual and the Zayn is the one who reads the first question. “Do you guys have the same taste in girls?” Zayn reads it out loud and grins. “Such an interesting question.” He points out and turns to face the crowd. 

“Well, we actually had this thing happened to us before. For both Niall and me, I mean. Both of us used to fancy Perrie when she was on the X-Factor. Fortunately, she picked me.” He says and grins smugly as the crowd cheers. 

Niall refuses to look at Zayn and glances over to see his other bandmates and all of them know that Zayn is not finish yet. Liam tries to interrupt but Zayn shakes his head and looks at Niall, straight into his eyes and Niall feels like he is suffocating from the coldness in Zayn’s eyes. “So we’re like, if someone has a girlfriend and if that girl is someone they both fancy, somebody means the other one who is not the boyfriend, needs to learn to back off, right Niall?” Zayn spits out his words as he glares at Niall. 

Everybody can feel the sudden tense atmosphere on the stage and Niall is so embarrassed and hurts and mad at the same time and he tries to hold back his feelings until the end of the show. 

 

**

 

“What was that?!” Niall shouts angrily as soon as they step into the backstage room when the show finish. He looks at Zayn and they are standing toe-to-toe with each other and Harry, Louis and Liam could only watch from the other side of the room. 

“What was what?” Zayn replies loudly, but Niall wouldn’t bulge. 

“The twitter question. Was it necessary to speak like that in front of thousands of people?!” 

Zayn scoffs. “Of course. It’s the truth. I wouldn’t lie about anything.” Zayn says and glares at Niall. “Unlike you.” He spits. 

Niall shakes his head in frustration. “I’m not a liar! I told you before, your girlfriend was the one who flirted with me!” He raises his voice to make his point clear. 

“Guys..” Liam says, trying to interrupt Niall and Zayn’s shouting match but Zayn glares at him before he turns to look at Niall again. 

“Yeah, right.” Zayn snorts. “Like I don’t know how bad you’re at flirting. No wonder you’ve been single for so long. You didn’t even get Demi. Hell, even Amy left you.” 

“Zayn!” Louis and Harry’s voice mingle into one as they look at Zayn disbelievingly. 

Niall blinks his eyes rapidly as he feels his breathing getting quicker. He couldn’t believe this. Zayn, the one who he confides the most about his private life, is throwing his harsh words back at Niall. He backs away from Zayn and tries to hold back his tears but it falls out anyway and he wipes it with the back of his hand angrily. “Fuck you!” Niall curses before he flees out of the room, slamming the door on his way out. He ignores all of people surrounds him as he tightens his hoodie and thankfully he manages to walk until he reaches his hotel room. He grabs his clothes and doesn’t realize that he is still crying at the moment until he looks down and sees his tears drops on his shirt. 

 

**

 

Harry sighs tiredly as he waves his other bandmates off before he walks towards his room. It’s been a long night for all of them. They had to apologize to fans about Niall’s absence during the brief session of meet and greet after the show and had to answer to management about Niall’s disappearance. 

Harry opens the room and looks around at both of the beds. Suddenly, he feels eerie from the absolute silence in the empty room. He shakes the feeling off, thinking that it’s because Niall is not there at the moment. And the Irish guy would probably come back later. Then Harry plops on his bed, curling to his right side and stares at the corner of the room. And that’s when he realizes that Niall’s guitar is gone. He sits up straight and heading towards the small closet near their bed and opens it frantically. He gasps and fumbles to open his cellphone. He dials the first number that he can get and shouts frantically. “Liam, Niall’s gone!” 

“What do you mean Niall’s gone?” Louis asks as soon as he, Liam and Zayn enter Harry’s shared room with Niall. Harry shakes his head frantically as he points out at the other side of the room. “His guitar is gone. His suitcase too! And I tried to call him but he turned his phone off. Niall never turned his phone off!” 

Liam and Louis moves to look at the places that Harry pointed at and of course, there is no trace of Niall’s belonging at all. “Shit.” Louis curses and turns around. “Do you think we should find him tonight?” He asks worriedly. Louis knows Niall is upset and he doesn’t want his Irish bandmate to be alone. 

“Go ahead. I’m beat. See you guys tomorrow.” Zayn says as he yawning and turns around, heading to get out of the room. All three of them look at Zayn’s back and shake their head disbelievingly. How could Zayn? 

 

**

 

Zayn steps on the butt of his cigarette on the pavement and runs his hands through his hair. It’s been two weeks since Niall left them all and the management managed to cover it up with some family excuses and thank God they only have one show left and then Zayn could be free at home. At least he doesn’t get the lecture and hostility from his other bandmates anymore. Plus, Little Mix is there too at the venue so Zayn is happy that he gets to see his girlfriend later. 

Zayn walks into the toilet’s stall and takes his time there when suddenly he hears voices. Female voices and he peeks under the door to find two pairs of heels and he feels like smacking himself. He entered the wrong loo! He remains silent and hopes that the girls will leave soon so that he can sneak out without bumping into anyone. 

“So, Per, is your plan working?” The girl starts to speak and Zayn raises his eyebrow. He knows the voice somewhere. 

“Yes, it is. Look at them now, poorly miserable and on the edge of breaking up.” The second girl says and laughs. Zayn shots his head up as he knows the voice very well. It’s Perrie, no mistake. And what does Perrie meant by her plan? 

“Yeah, yeah. Their team told the press that Niall has some family crisis back home but we know the truth.” The other girl says and that’s when Zayn recognizes the voice. Jade. 

Perrie laughs and Zayn strains his ears to listen to the rest of the conversation. “Of course. I mean, it took me a while until Zayn saw us because damn that Niall, so hard to get. I thought he would crumble under my flirtation because I heard he used to have a crush on me. But I guess he really live up to ‘bros over hoes’ quote.” Perrie says and both her and Jade laugh. 

Zayn feels his heart beats faster as he heard the words from Perrie. Does she really says what he hears she’s saying? 

“Well, but it worked well too, right? What’s with Zayn’s temper and all. Plus, you said that he believed you over Niall, so you’ve him under your wrap.” Jade says and Perrie laughs again. 

“Yes. Poor Zayn. I was the one who lied but he accused Niall as a liar instead.” Perrie says and that’s when Zayn feels his heart drops. Oh my God, what had he done to Niall? 

Zayn opens the door, fuming and ignoring Jade’s shriek voice and heads straight to Perrie, who looks so shock when she sees him. 

“Zayn…” Perrie stammers and Zayn grabs her arms, shaking her slightly. 

“Is that the truth?! Huh? Tell me! What is this plan that you did?!” Zayn shouts angrily. He never feels so betrayed like this before but now he gets a glimpse on how Niall feels betrayed by Zayn’s accusation. He had chosen his lying girlfriend over his bestfriend and look what happened. 

“Zayn, you’re hurting me.” Perrie says and tries to wriggle out from Zayn’s grip but Zayn is having none of it. He is too mad. 

“Tell. Me. What. Is. The. Plan.” Zayn fumes. 

Perrie trembles and nods. “I will. I will. Our team planned to break your band so that we can surpass your success if there are no longer one direction….” 

And that’s all click in Zayn’s mind. So their team uses Perrie to do all their dirty jobs. Zayn shakes his head. He can’t believe this. He had literally betrayed his betfriend over a girl who apparently not worth of his time and love. He releases his grip on Perrie and retreats out from the loo. He has some apologizing to do. 

 

**

 

Niall pauses on his movie and heads towards his front door when he hears the doorbell rings. He opens the door only to find Zayn standing in front of him and he fumes angrily. 

“What the hell are you doing here? How do you know I’m here?” Niall spits angrily as he glares at Zayn. 

“We told him.” Niall snaps his head to look at the voice of Harry and of course, the curly-haired guy along with Louis and Liam are standing not far behind Zayn. He glares at them too. 

“I forced them to, don’t be mad at them.” Zayn says, making Niall turns to look at him again. Zayn takes the opportunity to speak. “Niall, I come to apologize. I know Perrie was cheating about you and I..”

“Cut it, Zayn. I don’t want to hear it.” Niall says stubbornly, having none of it. He is tired of being pushed around and he doesn’t really want to hear any words from Zayn, ever again. 

“Ni, please..listen to him. We need to get back together as a band again.” Liam says, trying to mediate. 

Niall laughs hollowly and shakes his head. “There is no band anymore. At least not for me.” He says and Liam looks at him worriedly. “What are you talking about?” Liam asks, sharing a worried looks with Harry and Louis. Zayn is on the brink of tears and shakes his head disbelievingly. Niall wouldn’t do that, right? 

“I told Simon I want to quit. Apparently I’m not good enough to be in the band and can’t sing shit. So what’s the point of staying?” 

Zayn starts to sob as Niall repeats on what he had said to Niall before and shakes his head. “Niall..please..I’m sorry..don’t do this.” Zayn begs and Niall refuses to look at any of them and starts to close the door. 

“Leave me alone.” Niall says as he glances at them and his eyes lock with Louis’s. Louis tries to talk but Niall shakes his head. Louis finally nods sadly, understand that Niall is very hurt and eventhough he wants to talk to Niall about it, he knows Niall doesn’t want that at the moment. 

“Please..I’ve never ask anything from you guys before..now I’m just asking you to just please, leave me alone…” Niall says, his voice starts to break and he scares that if he looks at them for one more time, he would break down right here and there. He quickly closes the door and leans on it, sliding down to the floor and clutching his knees up. He buries his face in the crook of his arms and starts to cry. 

All of them hear the broken sound of Niall’s cry and it makes Zayn sobs harder. He feels so guilty for hurting Niall like this. “Niall…” He tries again as he leans his forehead on the door, hoping that Niall will open if again for one more time. 

“Zayn, just let go..” Louis says as he pulls Zayn away from Niall’s house and all of them leave with heavy hearts, especially Zayn. 

 

**

 

“So, that’s what happened?” Zayn nods as Simon looks at him disappointingly. He had told Simon about the story from the start to the end because he wants to beg Simon to not give Niall the right to breach their contracts and quit the band. 

“I want him in the band, Uncle Si. We all want him back.” Zayn says, looking hopefully at Simon and the older lad sighs. 

“He said he will pay or use all of his income to pay for the compensation if he breaches the contract, Zayn. I mean, he was so desperate..” Simon says and Zayn bits his lip guiltily. Niall must be so firm with his decision to leave the band if he is willing to lose all of his fortunes just to quit the band. It makes Zayn’s heart breaks to think that he is the one that makes Niall act like that. 

“Look, Zayn.” Simon starts again. “I just want to see you guys to be happy but by the looks of it, Niall is not happy at the moment. I’ve never heard he sounded so down like I’ve heard him last week..” Simon says as he still remembers the phone conversation with Niall the previous week. All the years that he have known all of them, Niall is the most bubbly and cheery boy and never seems to falter with negative comments and always sounds so happy. 

“I know. It’s my mistake. I’m willing to fix it. Please, Uncle Si..give me a chance to do that…” Zayn pleads. He knows Simon loves them as his own sons, especially Niall who seems to have a soft spot in Simon’s heart. Scratch that, not just Simon but in everyone’s heart and Zayn is still angry at himself for ruining Niall’s happy self. 

“How are you going to beg for his forgiveness?” Simon asks and Zayn tells the older guy about his plan. 

 

**

 

Niall stares at the name display on his phone before he picks it up. “Hello, Uncle Si?” 

“Turns on your tv and tune to mtv channel.” Simon says shortly and Niall raises his eyebrow, but changes the channel anyway. He looks at the headline on the screen and his eyes widen. 

__

‘One Direction announces a surprised press conference.’

“What’s going on?” Niall asks through the receiver of his phone and he only hears a short answer by Simon. “Just watch.” So he does. 

He waits until all of his bandmates sit and Zayn is the only one who speaks up. Niall is confused because Zayn never willing to speak and prefers to keep silent during their conferences, so what the hell is going on? 

“First of all, we want to apologize for the late notice of this conference.” Zayn starts and looks at his other bandmates and all of them nod, encouraging him to continue. “We decided to hold this conference because I, Zayn Malik wants to make a public apology to my bandmate, my bestfriend, Niall James Horan.” He continues and all of the press people buzzes with questions and Niall feels his head swims with shock. 

“What is he doing? Tell him to stop, Uncle Si!” Niall says frantically as he stares at the television screen. When Zayn stares right to the camera, Niall feels like Zayn is looking at him. 

“To Niall, I am so sorry that I hurt you, mate. I know I probably don’t deserve your apology after what I have said and done. But I really hope that you can forgive me. I’m so ashamed with myself. I swore to protect you from all of the hurts in the world but I’m the one who ends up hurting you anyway. I am so so so sorry, Ni. I miss you. I miss our friendship. I swear I’ll do anything to get your friendship back. Anything. I just hope you can forgive me.” Zayn says sincerely and Niall feels lost for a moment as he stares at Zayn’s misty eyes on the screen. 

“Niall, are you still there?” Simon asks. 

“Yeah..” Niall replies quietly. 

“He really wants to apologize, Niall. He doesn’t want you to quit the band. He wants you back. They want you back.” Simon says.

Niall shakes his head eventhough he knows Simon can’t see it through the phone. “No, I can’t..”

“Yes, you can.” Simon says firmly. “He told me what he said and he didn’t mean any of it. He was just too caught up in his own anger.” 

Niall remains silent and listens to the rest of Zayn’s apology. “..and we’d be really glad if you come back, Niall. If you don’t want to see me and accept my apology, I understand. Just don’t shut off the other guys too, yeah?” Zayn says and he starts to clear his throat before he speaks again. “And I’m willing to quit the band if it means that you can forgive me because I’m the only one who deserves to be blamed in all this mess.” 

Niall gasps in surprise and he knows by the looks of Louis, Harry and Liam’s faces, they also don’t expect that words to come out from Zayn’s mouth. Niall is still processing on Zayn’s words when Simon speaks up again. “Still think he’s not sorry?” 

 

**

 

“He’s not coming.” Zayn says and sits dejectedly on the stage as they are rehearsing for their next show. 

Harry sighs sadly and glances over at Liam and Louis, who mirror Zayn’s dejected expression. “So, who’s going to sing Niall’s part?” Harry asks. 

“Me.” Someone replies and all of their heads turn to look at the owner of the voice. 

“Niall!” They all shriek and leap out from the floor and crushes Niall into their hugs, except for Zayn who is shuffling nervously as he watches the scene. When they pull away, Niall smiles at them. “Do you guys have a spot for the lovely Irishman in the band?” He asks playfully. 

“Of course!” They shout excitedly. 

Niall grins and then he turns to look at Zayn. “You don’t want to hug me?” 

Zayn’s eyes widen as his mouth opens in gasps of surprise. This is so different than the last time he saw Niall. “Are you still mad at me?” Zayn asks quietly. 

Niall rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “You know me. I’m not the one who can hold grudge over my friends. Plus, I think you’ve redeemed yourself enough during the public apology conference. That should cover it.” Niall says and extends his arms, waiting for Zayn’s hug. 

Zayn leaps forward and hugs Niall tightly as his life is depend on the hug. “Thank, Niall. I’m really really sorry.” He says as he wraps his arms tighter around Niall. 

Niall chuckles and buries his face into the crook of Zayn’s shoulder. “Let bygone be bygone, yeah?” He says sincerely and Zayn nods. 

Louis, Liam and Harry smile at the scene and then Louis yells suddenly, breaking the moment. “Octopus hug!” He exclaims loudly and all of them latch their body to both Zayn and Niall. 

“Oi! Lou! Don’t pinch my nipple!” Harry whines.

“It wasn’t me!” Louis shrieks indignantly.

“Shut up, both of you!” Liam scolds playfully and Niall laughs out loud. He misses this. His eyes lock with Zayn’s and they smile at each other. At that moment, they know that they are going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> title is taken from the lyric of Katy Perry-Wide Awake


End file.
